Mushroom Kingdom High: Season 1
by MarioFan3000
Summary: Mushroom Kingdom High is a chaotic high school that not only encompasses characters from the Mario Universe, but characters from any fictional universe. After graduating from a Mario-Universe-Only Junior High school, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, and Toadbert have no idea what random hilarious madness is in store for them here at Mushroom Kingdom High. Recommended for ages 15 and up.
1. The First Day, Part 1

**Mushroom Kingdom High: Season One**

_A mass crossover parodic Fanfiction by;_

**MarioFan3000**

Note: _I do not own any of the characters used in this story. All references_

_are purely for parodic use. All rights reserved to there respected owners._

_Book cover art is property of SigurdHosenfeld, he's an awesome artist that_

_you can find on deviant art, and you can link to his art blot there as well._

_Do to strong language and content some may find f $#ing offensive, this_

_fan fiction is not recommended for readers under the age of fifteen. _

**Chapter 1: **_The First Day, Part 1_

Two Lakitu's, strange cloud like creatures from the Mario universe were trotting

through the buzzing Mushroom City. They had camera gear and sound equipment,

and big grins on their faces.

"Frig bro, isn't this awesome?" The Camera Lakitu laughed.

"I know! We're going to get to film all these fictional characters, and see how they

act out of their usual environment." The Sound Lakitu laughed.

"Yeah, then we'll sell it, completely destroy their reputations, and make a fortune!" The

Camera Lakitu laughed.

"Hahaha! You do remember how to work this thing, right?" The Sound Lakitu asked.

"Yeah, yeah, use **[ ]** to starting rolling an interview. Use **{ }** to play back previous

footage we've captured." The Camera Lakitu answered.

"Alright, good. Enough of this stupid tutorial intro shit, let's go get Mario!" The Sound

Lakitu laughed, him and his camera friend diving down to a red sports car on a street.

**[ -MARIO-**

_Mario was waiting in his red Wild Wing, parked outside his house._

_He was examining his home, growing impatient. It was a sandy color,_

_with a red roof. The words "MARIO" were present above a green door._

_Mario honked the horn in anger twice, holding the note a little longer the_

_second time. Luigi doesn't answer. Mario mutters profanity, then faces the camera._

"So basically today is our first day back from summer break which is bullshit because

it's also our first day at Mushroom Kingdom High, and this school is totally fucked

up." Mario complained.**]**

**[ -LUIGI-**

_Luigi was putting his shoes on, sitting on a step leading upstairs._

"I'm not looking forward to this school one bit. You see, in junior high school it was just

people that I knew, you know, people from the Mario Universe but now there's just too

many people and it's all fucky." Luigi whined.**]**

**[**_Mario was sitting in the drivers seat of his Wild Wing, facing the camera._

"I've just heard so much fucked up shit about this school, like someone told me that

Batman hides in the bathroom stalls like on the roof and shit and then once you take

a shit, he takes a shit, and you just see his shit land beside your fucking foot like how

fucked up is that?" Mario complained.**]**

**[**_Luigi was loading school supplies into his back pack._

"Well I don't think that anybody swears more then Mario. I mean, I swear quite a bit

too, but when you live with the guy it starts too... grow on you a little bit. I'm not

very proud of it." Luigi explained.**]**

**[**_Mario was sitting in the drivers seat of his Wild Wing, facing the camera._

"Yeah, I swear often I don't see what the big deal is I mean it's just a word. Some

people don't care but some people get all offended it's like who fucking cares it's

just a word."**]**

"Come on, Luigi! We're going to be late!" Mario yelled.

Luigi didn't respond. Mario had his backpack in the back seat, and the

radio was playing.

_"Get up!_

_Everybody's gonna move there feet-_

_Get down!_

_Everybody's gonna leave there seat-"_

Mario honked the horn three more times. Finally, Luigi came from the

house. Mario watched as he took forever to lock the door. Luigi walked up

to the passenger side and opened the door.

"Ah-ah-ah-ah." Mario started, waving a finger.

Luigi raised an eyebrow.

"Peach sits there. Get your ass in the back." Mario ordered, thumbing to the back

seat.

"Awwww." Luigi moaned.

Luigi sat in the back seat. Mario proceeded to drive away.

"What's your problem? It's just the back seat." Mario asked.

"Well now I have to sit by Daisy." Luigi whined.

"So?" Mario started.

"She's pretty hot." Mario concluded, examining Luigi in his rear view.

"That's the problem, man!" Luigi whined, spreading his arms.

**[**_Mario was sitting at a playground, a bunch of Toad kids laughing and playing_

_behind him._

"Something you have got to learn about Luigi real quick is- Hey! Would you

guys shut the fuck up for a second?" Mario growled, turned behind him.

_The Toad kids were right silent, eyes watering. Mario turned back to the camera._

"Something that you gotta learn about Luigi is that he is a total fucking pussy

when it comes to pussy. I mean, this guy couldn't hold a decent conversation

with a girl if his life depended on it. The guys still a virgin and I mean he's only

in grade ten so that's not too bad I guess but I lost my virginity when I was twelve

so that's like... four grades he's had to catch up." Mario explained.**]**

**[**_Luigi was standing shin deep in a lake._

"Well I guess you could say that I'm a little shy when it comes to girls, it's not a

super uncommon trait I mean I know an indian guy who can't talk to girls unless

he's drunk. They're just so pretty and I'm more of the quiet type anyway." Luigi explained.**]**

"Luigi man, you've got to learn how to talk to girls. Otherwise you'll end up

more weird then Goomfrey the Goomba." Mario replied.

**{**"So-uh, I spoke with Jolene... You got the stuff?" Goomther asked.

Mario was in Rogueport, talking with a green capped Goomba. Mario

was rubbing the back of his head. Flies were flying around Mario.

"Yeah, are you sure you're fine with this?" Mario asked.

"Yeah-yeah-yeah, it's cool it's cool." Goomther quickly replied.

"You do know I have like, seventeen pairs... And they smell like shit." Mario informed.

"Don't worry man, it's cool it's cool." Goomther persisted.

"This is weird, man-I just don't-"

"JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN DIRTY TRUNKS!" Goomther roared.

Mario gasped, his eyes widened in surprise. There was a silence.

"Heh heh... Sorry..." Goomther mumbled, laughing nervously.

Mario squinted his eyes.

"You get off from this stuff, don't you?" Mario asked.

"Maybe." Goomther replied.

There was a short silence.

"You sick bastard." Mario mumbled.**}**

"I can't help it Mario! She's so pretty!" Luigi whined, as Mario pulled over.

Mario was parked in front of Princess Peach's Castle. Mario honked the horn.

Princess Daisy opened the door, then gave Mario the finger. Mario gave it back,

and Princess Daisy closed the door. The two girls weren't ready.

**[ -PRINCESS DAISY-**

_Princess Daisy was packing gym clothes into her bag._

"Hi I'm Daisy! I'm smart, cute, and very athletic. And Princess Peach is my best friend,

and if you fuck with her I'm gonna fuck with you. I've got a no-nonsense attitude and

I speak my mind." Daisy introduced.**]**

**[**_Mario was sitting in the drivers seat of his Wild Wing, talking to the camera._

"Daisy's a bitch." Mario bluntly stated.**]**

**[**_Princess Daisy was packing gym clothes into her bag._

"Some people may say I'm a bitch but they just can't handle the fact that I'm honest

and not afraid to go up in your face and tell you how it is. So call me a bitch all you

want, but when it comes down to it, I've got your back." Daisy explained.**]**

**[ -PRINCESS PEACH-**

_Princess Peach was carefully applying eye make up, leaning towards the mirror. She_

_regained straight posture, looking at the camera through the mirror._

"Oh, hello! I'm Princess Peach. I'm the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, so I basically

own Mushroom City and Mushroom Kingdom High. I like to play the piano, I like to sing,

and garden, and knit, and drink tea, I guess you could say I am pretty feminine... I seem

to be popular among the boys, but that's okay because I only have eyes for my boyfriend

Mario." Peach introduced.**]**

**[**_Princess Daisy was standing in the Castle Foyer, waiting for Princess Peach._

"I think it's so dumb that Peach, someone so smart, pretty, and kindhearted dates a total

idiot like Mario." Daisy stated.**]**

**[**_Mario was sitting in the drivers seat of his Wild Wing, Luigi playing 3DS in the backseat._

"Some people think that I am dumb, but-"

"Would you put that away? The girls will be here any second and we're going to school you'll

look like a total faggot." Mario attacked.

"Fuck off..." Luigi grumbled, putting his 3DS away.

"Anyway, some people think that I am dumb but I honestly don't think I'm that dumb I mean,

I'm smarter then my car. Well, maybe not my car because it has an engine in it but I'm smarter

then my seat." Mario explained.**]**

**[**_Princess Peach was finishing up her make up._

"Mario has a bit of a reputation for being stupid, but I look past that I mean he's always been

there for me and he has a sweet side you just gotta dig deep for it. I guess you could say

that I love him." Princess Peach defended.**]**

Princess Peach and Princess Daisy came from the main doors. They proceeded to talk

and giggle as they walked towards Mario's red Wild Wing.

"Well you better grow a pair, because here she comes." Mario laughed.

Luigi proceeded to poke his index fingers together, blushing heavily.

(Oh man-oh man-oh man-oh man) Luigi started.

(I haven't been this nervous since that time I had to answer trivia questions

from the piano playing ghost!) Luigi whined.

**{**"Alright, my green friend." Melody Pianissima started.

A female ghost with blonde hair and a red dress was talking to the quivering

Luigi, sitting before a ebony grand piano.

"Now tell me what song this is, or I'll eat your soul." Melody Pianissima smiled.

"Oh-oh-okay..." Luigi quivered.

Melody Pianissima proceeded to play a song on the piano. It was the underwater

music from Super Mario Bros. 3. Melody stopped and turned to Luigi, smiling.

"Now what was that I just played?" Melody asked.

"Umm.." Luigi started, his legs quivering.

"...Moonlight Sonata?" Luigi answered, giving a pathetic smile.

Melody started at Luigi for a moment. She proceeded to slam her fists on her keys,

the keys playing as he screamed;

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

"Oh! That's Bohemian Rhapsody!" Luigi exclaimed, pointing a finger skyward.

Melody turned to Luigi.

"Prepare to die!" Melody screamed.

"AHHHH!" Luigi cried, revealing the Poltergeist 3000.

Luigi proceeded to vacuum up Melody.

"AHHHHHHH!" Melody cried, flying aimlessly around the room.

Luigi was being dragged on the carpet as he struggled to vacuum up Melody.

Finally he did it. Luigi smiled as he twirled his vacuum nozzle around.

"Heh-heh-heh, stupid bitch." Luigi smiled.**}**

"Hey Mario!" Peach sang, sitting in the front seat.

"Hey sweetie." Mario replied, the two of them sharing a kiss.

Mario and Peach proceeded to chat. Daisy entered the back seat.

"Hey Luigi, ready for school?" Daisy asked.

"Err, uhh..." Luigi nervously started.

(Think, Luigi. What's a good answer to that question...) Luigi thought.

"...Yes?" Luigi answered.

There was an awkward silence. Mario proceeded to drive towards Mushroom Kingdom

High.

"So uh, Daisy..." Peach started, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" Daisy asked.

"Did you know that Toadsworth is one of the science teachers?" Peach informed.

"Really? Chemistry or Biology?" Daisy asked.

Mario turned up the radio. Peach tried to answer, but the radio was too loud.

_"Crazy..._

_But that's how it goes..."_

Peach turned down the volume.

"Mario! We're talking!" Peach whined.

"It was boring! And had nothing to do with me! That's like... double boring. And

gay. Well, no, not really... Well, unless you talk about me fuckin' some dude.

That's pretty gay I suppose." Mario rambled.

"Do you listen to yourself?" Daisy asked, her arms folded.

"Do you ever give me gas money? Didn't think so." Mario countered.

Mario approached a red light. He proceeded to come to a stop.

"Mario, that's-"

"Shh shh shh shh, hang on Peach." Mario hushed.

Peach's eyes widened. The sound of heavy metal was present, as a purple car

pulled up beside Mario's. It was the Wario Car. Wario and Waluigi were laughing

at Mario, Wario driving and Waluigi in the passenger seat. Bowser was in the back

seat.

**[**_Luigi was sitting in the backseat, looking like he was about to cry._

"Meet Wario, Waluigi, and Bowser. These dicks have been fuckin' with me since

elementary school. They usually fuck off when Mario is around, but when they

get me alone..." Luigi whined.**]**

**[-WARIO-**

_Wario was sitting on a chair inside an empty classroom. He raised his butt, and_

_released a high pitched fart._

"Wah hah hah... I'm a dick." Wario introduced.**]**

**[-BOWSER-**

_Bowser was sitting on a teachers desk, incredibly casual like with his arm around the_

_backrest._

"So yeah, I'm Bowser. I'm pretty much the coolest guy ever. Me and the boys usually

fuck around with Mario and his friends... Peach is super hot... That's about it." Bowser

introduced.**]**

**[-WALUIGI-**

_Waluigi was down on one knee before a moonlit lake, a rose in his hands._

"Just once would I love to caress your flawlessly body in my arms as I walk ankle

deep along the most calming oceans of Greece, whispering my undying love and

unbreakable devotion to your perfect form, ...my Daisy. One day, I will win your

heart. But until then, I shall troll all of your friends." Waluigi introduced.**]**

"Well if it isn't the Super Mario Losers!" Wario teased.

Waluigi, Wario, and Bowser laughed.

"Fuck off." Mario declined.

"You fuck off! Hey, Peach!" Bowser started.

Everyone but Mario faced Bowser.

"Ditch the zero and get with the hero." Bowser smiled, thumbing to himself.

"I am the hero, you dumb ass." Mario replied.

Everyone in Mario's car laughed.

"Huh? Oh yeah..." Bowser started, rubbing his chin.

"Oh well. You're still a loser!" Bowser countered.

The light turned green. Wario sped off, leaving Mario and friends coughing

up dust.

"Eat that Mario, you red capped idiot!" Bowser roared, as they drove out of sight.

"*cough* *cough*, fuck I hate those dicks." Luigi complained.

Mario finished coughing up the dust. Peach placed a hand on his shoulder as

he drove through the intersection.

"It's okay, Mario. Don't let him get to you." Peach comforted.

"It's fine. It's not like it's the first time Bowser has been a dick." Mario replied.

**{**Mario had just finished the Bowser Mini-Game Grab Bag, and was talking with

Bowser.

"Wow, Mario! You didn't lose a single coin!" Bowser started, impressed.

"Yahoo!" Mario cheered, raising a fist.

"But... I just plain don't like you, so I am going to take fifty." Bowser sniped.

"WHAT!" Mario cried.

Bowser proceeded to jump side to side happily, as Mario lost fifty coins.

Mario faced away from Bowser, his arms folded.

"Douche." Mario mumbled.**}**

Mario, Princess Peach, Luigi, and Princess Daisy arrived at the High School, backpacks

donned. Mario locked his car, and joined his friends as they examined the massive sign.

**MUSHROOM KINGDOM HIGH**

"This is it." Peach started.

"This is our first day at high school." Peach concluded, as the four of them continued to

examine the school.

"Gimme yer lunch money, cloud boy!" Croco barked, chasing Mallow.

"No! That's my grandpa's frog coin! Get away!" Mallow cried, running away from Croco.

Suddenly, the Arwing was present. Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy gasped.

"Slippy, I can't find a place to land!" Fox informed.

"What are you talking about, Fox? Land on the damn roof!" Slippy replied.

"I can't! It says no Arwing's aloud!" Fox replied.

Fox examined the roof outside the cockpit window. A crossed out Arwing was

present in white and red paint, with the sub text below;

**NO ARWING'S ALOUD**

The ship started to alarm red.

"Mayday mayday! I'm going down!" Fox informed.

Mario, Peach, Luigi, and Daisy gasped as the Arwing crashed into the school. Peppy's

voice was present as smoke rose from the downed space craft;

"Do a barrel role."

"Wow..." Mario started, rubbing his head.

Peach, Luigi, and Daisy turned to Mario.

"That was more unexpected then that time Peach spoke naughty words in Super

Paper Mario." Mario started.

**{**Mimi was present, crying on the ground. Princess Peach was standing over her,

hands on her hips. Mario and Luigi were watching.

"Sniffle... Oww..." Mimi cried.

"Aww, what's the matter? Did I spank Mimi too hard?" Peach sang.

"Sniffle..." Mimi cried.

"Aww, I did didn't I? You won't talk to me like that again, will you? Because

you know what will happen." Peach continued.

"You... sniffle... you bitch..." Mimi weakly cried.

"EX-CUSE, ME?" Peach started.

Peach proceeded to spank Mimi repeatedly. Mario watched, his eyes widened in

surprise. Luigi leaned towards the surprised Mario.

"I have the most peculiar boner right now." Luigi whispered.**}**

"Come on guys." Daisy started, looking at her cell phone.

Everyone turned to Daisy.

"We're going to be late. Let's go find out our classes." Daisy suggested.

Mario, Luigi, and Peach nodded. The four of them proceeded to make their way to

the main doors, ready to embark on their first day of High School at Mushroom

Kingdom High.


	2. The First Day, Part 2

**Chapter 2: **_The First Day, Part 2_

Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Princess Daisy entered the main foyer of their new high school.

A variety of unfamiliar faces were present. The four of them proceeded to survey the area throughly.

Superman was present, his hand pressed against the wall as he overshadowed Lara Croft, the expression

on Superman's face best described as sleazy.

"So, Lara Croft... I've heard that you've recently become single." Superman hinted, his voice even

bearing a handsome trait.

"And I've heard that you're faster then a speeding bullet. Not interested." Lara Croft declined, giving

him the hand and walking away.

"So, where do you think we go to find our classes?" Peach asked.

"Allow me to help." A nerdy voice replied.

Approaching Mario and friends was a blue spotted Toad who wore glasses. He had a blue button up shirt

and a yellow tie on, the nerdy student dressed more formal then most of the teachers.

**[**_Luigi was sitting on a bench in Gym Class, a towel around his neck._

"Well Toadbert has been going to school with us since elementary school, so it's only natural that

he would approach us in such a new environment with all these unfamiliar faces. What I find a

little fucked though is that he's actually a doctor. The guy is so smart that he already has a Ph.D.

He's a nice guy so I don't really mind when he's around, but sometimes he can be embarrassing

to be around... I know that makes me sound like kind of a dick, but it's the truth." Luigi explained.**]**

**[**_Mario was sitting on a bench in Gym Class, a towel around his neck._

"Toadbert is the fucking king of nerds -he's totally embarrassing to be around and he always goes

on about tangerine lines, and how your brain works, and all this physics crap it's like who fuckin'

cares let's talk about pussy. The guy's a doctor so I don't know why he doesn't just work and make

money -I think he stays in High School so that he can be with us... And that's a little fucked up if

you ask me." Mario explained.**]**

**[**_Princess Daisy was standing outside of the high school with folded arms, the Mushroom Kingdom _

_High sign behind her._

"Toadbert is incredibly smart, but it's because he has a Ph.D -like he's smarter then all the teachers here

yet he still goes to high school. He went to elementary school and junior high with us but during the

summers he worked towards getting a Ph.D in chemistry or physics or something. Why he stays in

high school I don't know, but I think it's because he really likes Princess Peach and he practically

worships the ground Mario walks on which is the stupidest thing ever because Mario is a total idiot

and he's like, the smartest person in the entire world... Maybe it's because Mario is good with the

ladies, I don't know. What am I saying?" Daisy rambled.**]**

**[**_Princess Peach was sitting on a recliner in her Castle, two Toads working on her feet._

"Toadbert is the CUTEST THING EVER! He's just such a little brainiac super geek and it's just

too cute. He's just so tiny that it makes me laugh but at the same time you just want to squeeze

him. And the fact that he looks up to Mario is just SO cute. I always enjoy his company, but I

don't think Mario does, he's pretty mean to him, which is totally uncool." Peach explained.**]**

**[-TOADBERT-**

_Toadbert was standing inside of a chemistry lab, lab coat donned and safety glasses over his glasses._

"A-hyuk-hyuk-hyuk, I'm Toadbert! I love science, science fiction, playing video games, watching anime,

and although I've never been laid I'm pretty darn smooth with all the girlies if I do say so myself. I can

quote any moment of any episode of Battlestar Galactica, and I dare you to try to out trivia me in Star

Wars. I've yet to come across an anime that I haven't masterbaited too, mecha animes are by far my favorite.

Batman and Ironman are tied for my favorite super hero, my favorite video game character by far being Mario.

I can identify any riff from any Rush or Dream Theater song, and I can talk for hours about thermal dynamics.

All and all, I guess you can say I'm a pretty cool dude." Toadbert introduced.**]**

_"Peach! Get him away! We'll look nerdy as hell!" _Mario whined.

_"Don't be rude, Mario! He's a nice guy." _Peach defended.

"Awwww, great." Mario whined, Toadbert having arrived.

"Salutations, Princess Peach!" Toadbert started.

Mario, Luigi, and Daisy rolled their eyes. Peach felt a little awkward.

"Hi, Toadbert." Peach replied.

Toadbert offered a hand.

"Social protocol dictates that upon meeting after a long period of absence we

shake hands." Toadbert explained.

"Oh... how lovely..." Peach uncomfortably smiled, shaking his hand.

Toadbert proceeded to chat with Daisy and shake her hand. Then Luigi. Finally,

he made his way to Mario.

"If it isn't Super Mario! Heh heh, nice to see you again." Toadbert greeted, offering a hand.

"Toadbert we're teenagers we don't shake hands." Mario snapped.

"Mario shake his hand." Peach ordered.

"No it's gay." Mario declined.

"Mario just shake his god damn hand people are starting to stare." Daisy hissed.

With a growl, Mario quickly shook the offered hand.

"Happy faggot?" Mario sneered.

"BY BOOGITY!" Toadbert yelped.

Various people looked over. Mario felt embarassed.

"We've got to get you guys your schedules! Follow me!" Toadbert ordered, waving a hand.

Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Princess Daisy followed Toadbert. People were watching

as they walked by. Mario was embarassed. He whispered to Luigi;

_"Fuck, I feel so uncool right now. Now I know how the Nashville Predators must feel."_

**{**The sounds of crickets singing was present as the Nashville Predators stood on their home ice, the

stadium completely deserted.

"Uhh, guys?"

"..."

"Does anybody like us?"

"..."

"Guys?"**}**

Toadbert, Princess Peach, Mario, Luigi, and Princess Daisy were waiting in a line up to see their schedules.

"I hope my classes are good." Daisy thought aloud.

"I hope you wore deodorant for a change." Mario grumbled.

"Do you want a punch in the head now or later?" Daisy growled, fist held up.

"Guys, please." Peach reasoned.

Luigi was staring at the distant Samus. Samus was staring at Mario. Luigi nudged Mario.

_"Bro, don't look now, but I think that dude over there is checking you out." _Luigi informed.

"Awesome. Ten minutes in this place and I have more dudes hitting on me then chicks." Mario groaned.

Suddenly, Ridley smashed through a nearby window. The purple winged beast proceeded to roar a

deafening screech, then grabbed Toadbert. Samus charged Ridley. Everyone watched as

Ridley dragged Toadbert across the lockers.

"Ah-ah-ah-ah-he-e-lp-me-e-e-e." Toadbert cried, getting his fungal head smashed.

Everyone watched as Samus unleashed a powerful Zero Laser on Ridley.

"That's the guy, man." Luigi informed.

Peach and Daisy didn't understand what Luigi just said. Suddenly, Ridley was no longer

present. Toadbert was blackened on the ground, steam rising from his roasted frame. The orange

armor on Samus broke into many pieces, and to Mario and Luigi's surprise, what was revealed was a tall

female with long blonde hair, a slender frame and developed features. Luigi's jaw dropped.

"That's not a bro, bro!" Luigi gasped.

Samus was attending the downed Toadbert.

"What are you boys talking about?" Peach asked, her arms folded.

Mario and Luigi stopped staring at Samus.

"Er-uh, nothing, nothing... Nope." Mario awkwardly replied.

Peach squinted her eyes. They were next in line. Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy received there

schedules. The four of them proceeded to examine the paper before them.

"Alright!" Mario cheered.

"What?" Peach asked.

"I have gym first period with Luigi!" Mario cheered.

"Right on!" Luigi cheered, high fiving his brother.

"Ha! I haven't been this lucky since that time I worked at the Trouble Center!" Mario informed.

**{**Mario was in Rogueport Square, talking with a purple mouse.

"So uh, I'm here to solve your trouble." Mario informed.

"Ahh, yer the guy eh? Oh ho ho, I got a gooood feelin' about you yeeeees-indeedy!" Mousmilian laughed.

"Heh heh. What's up?" Mario asked.

"Well you see, I knew of this way to make a good profit but forgot, so I want you to whack me

in the head with your hammer until I remember." Mousmilian informed.

Mario's eyes widened in surprise.

"You want me... to whack you in the head... with my hammer?" Mario asked, pointing at

himself, Mousmilian, then his hammer.

"Did I stutter sir?" Mousmilian smiled.

"Easy man. I'm just saying, I don't think this is going to help... In fact, I think it's just

going to give you brain damage." Mario countered.

"Will you just shut up and do it?" Mousmilian barked.

Mario squinted his eyes. He smashed Mousmilian in the head.

"Ow- I just can't remember..."

Mario smashed him in the head again.

"Ow- I just can't remember..."

Mario smashed him in the head again.

"Ow- I just can't remember..."

Mario smashed him in the head again.

"Ow- I remembered!"

Mario smashed him in the head again.

"Ow- HEY, WHAT THE HELL MAN?" Mousmilian roared.

"What?" Mario asked.

"I remembered! Then you hit me and now I forget again!" Mousmilian cried.

"Yeah, that was on purpose." Mario stated.

There was a silence. Mario smashed Mousmilian in the head again.**}**

"Don't get too happy, Mario! Look!" Peach started, pointing at Mario's schedule.

"Oh-ho-ho, sucks to be you!" Daisy laughed, peering over Mario's shoulder.

"What? I don't get it?" Mario whined, rubbing his head.

"You have Dr. Toadley for math!" Peach informed, holding back laughter.

"So? Doctor's are creditable." Mario countered.

"You don't know what you're in for, sweetie." Peach teased.

Daisy and Luigi laughed.

"Come on guys, it can't be that bad." Mario whined.

"Oh, it's that bad my red capped friend..." Kaepora Gaebora started.

Everyone gasped and turned to the large brown owl. He proceeded to twist his head upside down

and lunge his head forward. The area grew dark as he spoke in a frightening tone.

"Dr. Toadley is a teacher so intolerable, no one has been able to complete the entire course without

suffering from insanity. You best be scared, boy." Kaepora Gaebora warned.

Mario let out a heavy gulp. Peach, Luigi, and Daisy simply stared at the large owl. Link was creeping

behind them, trying to sneak by unnoticed. The large owl perked it's head.

"Hoo? Link! Link!" Kaepora Gaebora shouted.

"Gah!" Link cried, as he proceeded to run down the hallway.

Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy watched as the large brown owl chased Link.

"Link! Come back here! That prostate exam won't happen on it's own!" Kaepora Gaebora cried, chasing Link

down the hall.

Toadbert arrived, along side the beautiful Samus.

"This boy with you?" Samus asked Peach.

"Huh?" Peach started, lost.

"Oh... yeah, sure." Peach softly replied.

Samus approached Mario with a romantic stare.

"Well, if it isn't Mario. I've heard ALL about you..." Samus cooed, circling her finger on his chest,

biting her bottom lip.

**[**_Daisy was sitting down on a royal red couch in Princess Peach's Castle, Peach sitting beside_

_her, looking pissed._

"Ohhhhhhh that bitch just crossed the LINE." Daisy sang, with a finger.**]**

**[-SAMUS-**

_Samus was relaxing on a lawn chair by the pool side, wearing a blue two piece bikini._

"I'm Samus Aran. I'm sexy and I know it, and I can be a total bitch. I'm in eleventh grade, and I

usually won't so much as cast a glance at those pathetic tenth graders, I only spend my time hunting

boys who are at least three or four years older then me. But Mario, he's an exception. He's easily

the most popular guy in the entire school, which means that I must have him. And I get what I want,

whenever I want. So that shy tiny little pink high voiced excuse for a girlfriend better look the fuck

out, because here comes Queen Samus." Samus introduced.**]**

**[**_Mario was sitting at home on his living room couch, Luigi sitting beside him, nodding his head up_

_and down in agreement._

"Samus Aran is super fuckin' hot, she's in eleventh grade, so she's a year older then all of us, and

holy fuck is she some hot she's got great breasts and a great ass and she's tall but not too tall, and

fuck is she some hot man I would do so many things to that chick -unforgivable things." Mario explained.

"Unforgivable things." Luigi nodded, agreeing.

"Unforgivable things." Mario nodded, facing the camera again.**]**

Mario was a little shy, rubbing the back of his head;

"I'm uh... I'm not that great uh-"

"Nonsense. I've heard of your heroic deeds, and I am impressed. You are quite the

man." Samus purred, playfully tugging on his overall strap.

"That's it!" Peach barked, stomping towards Samus.

Samus turned a little and toothlessly smiled down at Peach, who was three inches shorter than her.

"Oh! You must be Princess Peach..." Samus started.

"Yes, and I also happen to be Mario's girlfriend." Peach sneered, a hand through her hair.

Samus placed a hand on her bottom lip, her pony tail moving as she turned slightly to Mario.

"A princess, Mario?" Samus started.

Mario didn't really know what to say.

"Well that's pretty cool, I guess..." Samus admitted, examining Peach.

Peach had a perked expression, her arms folded.

"If you want to wait until your married to have sex." Samus sniped.

"Ooh!" Peach whined, stomping her foot in anger.

Samus peered at Mario's schedule.

"See you in gym class. Does little Peach wear LuLuLemon pants?" Samus smiled, leaving the scene.

Peach was fuming mad, her fists clenched. The bell rang. Mario felt awkward as hell, knowing that

it was time for Gym Class and that Peach wasn't happy with the situation.

"Er... Goodbye, Peach..." Mario weakly sang, as he leaned in for a kiss.

Mario kissed the enraged Peach on the cheek. Peach didn't react. Mario proceeded

to walk to gym class, praying she wasn't going to shoot him from behind. Luigi proceeded

to follow.

_"LuLuLemon pants? That'll make her ass even nicer to stare at!" _Luigi whispered.

_"That's what I was thinking!" _Mario exclaimed.

"Luigi!" Peach roared.

"Gah!" Luigi cried, his hat flying off his head then back on.

Luigi approached the enraged Peach.

"Umm, yes?" Luigi awkwardly asked.

Peach grabbed Luigi by his overall strap and brought him close.

"Keep an eye on my Mario, okay? I don't trust Samus one bit." Peach strictly ordered.

Luigi gulped.

"Y-Y-Yes, m'am..." Luigi stuttered.

Peach released Luigi. Luigi ran towards the Gym in fear. Daisy patted Peach on the back.

"Mario's a good guy. Don't you worry." Daisy comforted.

Peach breathed a deep breath, and proceeded to calm down.

"A-hyuk, well I'm off to Physics Class! I'm sure we'll just be covering circular gravitation,

how communication satellites orbit the earth, their tangental velocities, that kind of stuff.

Easy-peasy. Anyway, see ya's at lunch! Toodle dee doo!" Toadbert concluded, leaving the scene.

"See you at lunch? Ugh, you be nice to a nerd and then they stick to you." Daisy groaned.

"Toadbert is great, Daisy. It's Samus we have to worry about." Peach countered.

"Relax, Samus is just a busty bitch. Let's go to our Computing Sciences class." Daisy comforted.

Peach and Daisy proceeded to make there way to their Computing Sciences class.

Luigi was walking to Gym, shaking his head;

(Keep an eye on Mario... of all the lousy jobs... actually... no, I have had worse jobs.)

**{**Luigi was standing in the streets of New York, trying to talk to a lady in an information

booth.

"Excuse me, m'am?" Luigi asked.

The lady didn't respond. She simply stared forward with a smile.

"Hello?" Luigi asked, waving a hand in front of her face.

The lady didn't respond. She simply stared forward with a smile.

"Damn, that's right. She doesn't listen to me unless I am riding a Yoshi.

So stupid." Luigi grumbled.

Luigi proceeded to travel to Montreal to grab his Yoshi. Finally, he was back in New York.

He approached the information booth.

"Hello, what-"

"Help! The Koopa Troopa's have stolen King Kong from the Empire State Building!" The lady cried.

Luigi's mind exploded.**}**

"Hello everyone, my name is Otacon, and I will be your Computing Sciences teacher

for the semester." Otacon introduced, lifting his glasses up his face with a finger.

_"Talk about super nerd." _Daisy whispered.

Peach giggled.

_"I know. He looks like the kinda guy who would piss himself." _Birdo added.

"Birdo, shut up. No one was talking to you." Daisy snapped.

"Alright, your first assignment is written on a Microsoft Word file, and it will guide you through

the steps of designing your own thirty second animation on Microsoft Flash. If you have any

questions, feel free to ask me, but I believe the Word file should suffice. Good luck!" Otacon explained.

Peach and Daisy proceeded to open up the word file on the computer. Suddenly, Bowser's voice

was present from the door way.

"Peach!" Bowser called.

Some of the classmates examined Bowser. Peach didn't hear.

"Peach!" Bowser called, slightly louder.

Daisy noticed Bowser.

"Daisy, what did-"

"Hey, Peach, -look." Daisy ordered, pointing at Bowser.

The entire class, including Peach watched as Bowser proceeded to hold up a sign.

**YOUR HOT**

The class giggled. Peach proceeded to blush heavily. Daisy shot a dirty look, then leaned into Peach.

"Why does Bowser have such affection for you? You're a human!" Daisy whined.

"Believe me Daisy, this isn't the first time I have been hit on by a different species." Peach replied.

**{**Princess Peach was taking a shower in a futuristic style chamber. She was singing

the Mario theme as steam rose from the basin.

"BRZZZT!"

"Huh?" Peach gasped, looking around.

"What was that?" Peach asked.

After a few moments, Peach continued to shower.

"BRZZZT!"

"What is that?" Peach whined.

Peach quickly finished up showering. She proceeded to dry herself off, then slip back on her dress.

"Ahh, how refreshing. I feel like a new princess!" Peach smiled.

Princess Peach left the bathroom via electronic door. She was in a square grey room,

composed of only essential furniture. The doors on the other side magically opened.

"Hmm? What was that? Hey! How odd... the doors opened by themselves." Peach noted.

Peach proceeded to make her way down the hallway. She eventually found a giant computer.

"Hello, Princess Peach." The computer started.

"Huh? What? Who said that? Where are you?" Peach gasped.

"How amusing. I am right here, before your eyes. I am TEC-XX, but you may call

me TEC." TEC greeted.

"Okay... Why did you lead me in here?" Peach asked.

"I am unsure. An unusual program deviation occurred when I observed you earlier.

My higher brain circuitry malfunctioned and nearly over heated at your image." TEC informed.

"EX-CUSE, ME?" Peach barked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Also, an unidentified impulse sped through my processors. I now feel the urge to

observe you... I want to know more about you... And observe you..." TEC continued.

"You're disgusting! You watched me shower and got off from it!" Peach cried.

"Got off? No, I believe my systems were up and running..." TEC countered.

"Horny, TEC. You were horny." Peach explained.

"Horny? What is... Horny? I can not compute this." TEC asked.

"This is this most awkward, disgusting moment of my life. This is a kid's game for crying

out loud! I'm leaving." Peach roared, storming away.

"Princess Peach, wait!" TEC cried.

Peach turned around, her fists clenched.

"Please shower again." TEC asked.

"Ooh!" Peach whined, storming off in anger.

"Can you at least spit on my screen?" TEC called, as Peach left the room.**}**

"Bowser, isn't there a class you should be attending?" Otacon asked, hands on his hips.

"Uhh..." Bowser started, poking his index fingers together.

"Isn't there a comic book convention you should be attending, nerd!" Bowser insulted.

The entire class laughed, except for Peach.

"That's it! It's the office for you, buddy!" Otacon snapped, pointing a finger.

"BWAHAHAHA!" Bowser laughed, snapping his fingers.

The clown copter arrived. Bowser hopped in.

"Just try and catch me!" Bowser laughed, flying down the halls.

Otacon followed. Everyone in the Computing Sciences class exchanged glances.

Mario, Luigi, Samus, and a variety of others were standing on the gym floor,

examining the gym teacher. It was Solid Snake. He was holding a basketball.

"Err.. My name's Snake... I'll be your... Gym, teacher ughh..." Snake greeted.

The gym class was silent. Snake lit a cigarette and proceeded to smoke it.

"You know what I see? A bunch of... pussies, ughh..." Snake insulted, smoking a puff.

The gym class was silent. Snake took another puff.

"Let's get one thing clear, I've... seen some shit, ughh errr..." Snake informed, jerking his head.

The gym class stayed silent. Snake smoked another puff.

"So don't try anything clever... or I'll have to... kick your ass, ughh..." Snake warned.

Samus was bending down and touching her toes, so her ass was aimed at Mario's face.

Mario was staring hardcore, drool present from his mouth. Luigi nudged him, staring as well.

"Mario... you do have a girlfriend remember." Luigi reminded.

"...Wha?" Mario moaned, still staring.

Samus got back to her feet, turning her head and giving Mario a wink.

"Alright... I'll need a... Errr... Volunteer, ...ughh." Snake requested, revealing a basketball.

"Oo! Oo!" A tall man begged, raising a hand.

"You! What's yer... name, ughh..." Snake asked.

"I'm Brock!" Brock informed.

"Brock, huh... You don't even look like you can... see, ughh..." Snake noted with keen eyes.

Brock didn't respond. He simply stared back with a stupid smile.

"How much do you know about... Basketball, ughh..." Snake asked.

"Absolutely nothing! But that basketball reminds me of a Geodude, and I

am great at catching rock Pokemon!" Brock informed, revealing a pokeball.

"Errr... Idiots, ughh..." Snake mumbled.

Everyone gasped in surprise as Snake's CODEC went off.

"Errr... Hang on..." Snake paused.

Snake squatted down to a crouch, one hand over his ear.

"Snake? Snake, come in." Otacon called.

"I'm here, Otacon... What do you want, I'm... teaching a gym class, ughh..." Snake informed.

"My apologies Snake, but Bowser is on the loose! He's flying through the

halls on his Clown Copter disrupting all the classes! You need to stop him!" Otacon ordered.

"Errr, Bowser, eh? I'm on it... Snake out..." Snake concluded.

Snake stood back to his feet.

"I don't get paid enough for this shit..." Snake grumbled, lighting a cigarette.

Snake smoked a puff, and blew the smoke towards the Gym Class.

"I am needed elsewhere, so..." Snake started, dropping the basketball.

"Knock yourselves out, ughh..." Snake concluded, leaving the gym while smoking a cigarette.

Everyone in the gym class stared at the single basketball before them.

"Screw basketball! Let's have a Pokemon tournament!" Brock suggested.

"Great idea!" Ash agreed.

"This blows." Mario groaned.

"Did you say blow?" Samus asked.

Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were present in the cafeteria line up. Kirby was

making food and serving customers.

"You can go sit down, sweetie. I'll bring you and Daisy your food." Mario smiled.

"Aww, thanks Mario! You're so sweet!" Peach smiled.

Peach and Daisy proceeded to leave. Toadbert approached Mario.

"Salutations, my red capped friend heh-heh!" Toadbert smiled.

Mario turned around, and saw Toadbert staring at him.

"Fuck." Mario muttered, facing forward.

"I see we have the same math class! You'll see I am in a more cheery mood, as

math is my "slack class" if you know what I mean heh-heh." Toadbert joked.

"Ooo hoo hoo..." Mario weakly laughed.

(Nerd.) Mario insulted.

Mario and Luigi were next in line. Mario proceeded to order;

"Hi, I-"

"Hiiiii!" Kirby sang.

Mario's eyes widened.

"Umm, hi I would-"

"Hiiii!" Kirby sang.

Mario stopped and stared for a second. Kirby then proceeded to bang on a boiling pot,

wearing a white chef hat.

"What the hell?" Mario cried, as he was magically lured into the boiling pot of water.

Kirby proceeded to cook the red capped hero. Mario was flopping around in pain.

"Ah! Ah! What the hell? Get me outta here you crazy son of a bitch-AH!" Mario cried.

Mario, Peach, Luigi, Daisy, and Toadbert sat at a cafeteria table, food present before

them. Mario was as red as a lobster. He had a frown on his face.

"What's the matter boo bear?" Peach asked, her head tilted.

"What's the matter? Well besides the fact that I have third degree burns and a nerdy ass clown

following me around, I have Dr. Toadley next period. How's that for a fuckin' start. " Mario whined.

Peach, Daisy, Luigi, and even Toadbert giggled.

"Come on guys! A little sympathy would be nice!" Mario whined, his arms spread.

"You'll get no sympathy from me." Ike informed, standing at the end of the cafeteria

table with his arms folded.

Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, and Toadbert examined the blue haired swordsmen. No

one spoke.

"Umm-" Mario started.

"AETHER!" Ike cried, as he jumped in the air sliced the cafeteria table in half with his

golden blade.

Peach, Mario, Luigi, Daisy, and Toadbert examined the table, absolutely dumbstruck.

Food was all over the place, and the table was split perfectly in two.

"Let's just go to McDonalds." Mario grumbled.


	3. The First Day, Part 3

**Chapter 3: **_The First Day Part 3_

Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Princess Daisy were cruising in Mario's Red Wild Wing, heading to McDonalds.

No one could engage in conversation because Mario was jamming to the radio at a loud volume.

_(That, that) Dude, looks like a lady_

_(That, that) Dude, looks like a lady_

_(That, that) Dude, looks like a lady_

_(That, that) Dude, looks like a lady_

Peach turned the volume down. Mario shot a glare. Peach was pouting.

"Mario, I don't know if I should be eating McDonalds..." Peach whined.

"Come on, Peach. One meal isn't going to make you fat." Mario countered.

"It's not the calories, Mario... It's just McDonalds makes me throw up." Peach explained.

"McDonalds won't make you throw up... But searching pictures of Bowletta on Deviant

Art with the filter off will." Mario countered.

Suddenly, there was nothing but blackness. Seconds later, a spotlight was present, and

it revealed a single wooden stool in the black abyss. The clicking of high heels was present.

Suddenly, Princess Daisy came into view. She proceeded to take a seat. She made eye contact

with the reader.

"Hi there. My name is Princess Daisy. My more loyal fans know me as Princess of Sarasaland,

but most people just think I am that annoying girl on Mario Kart who says "Hi I'm Daisy!" and who

looks like a Peach clone. But whatever. Haters gonna hate..." Daisy started.

"Well said Daisy." Abraham Lincoln nodded.

"Anyway, what I am here to tell you, is that Mario's joke was not funny..." Daisy continued.

"Listen to me, and listen good." Daisy ordered, giving strict eye contact to the reader, and pointing a

single finger with her other hand at her hip.

"I see a lot of brilliant readers right now. I see potential in you guys. Some of you are going to be doctors,

lawyers, and I think we even have an astronaut in here. But if that curiosity kicks in, and you decide to

go on deviant art and see what Mario is talking about... Well... Sniffle..." Daisy continued.

Daisy wiped a single tear.

"Sniffle... I'm sorry..." Daisy apologized, then proceeded to gain composure.

Daisy glared back at the reader with a strong stare.

"Well you can kiss Harvard good bye, because you're going to be spending your life in a

mental institute, wishing each day that you listened to Princess Daisy, and didn't search

Bowletta on deviant art!" Daisy explained, louder than necessary.

"I'm serious you guys. That shit will change you. And there's no going back. It will be burned in your memory

forever, and you won't even to be able to look at your loved ones the same..." Daisy somberly continued,

taking a little break.

She proceeded to speak again, her face somber.

"But... Let's not put all the blame on Mario, here... He's a good guy... I'm sure when he said the

joke, he didn't think people would actually look it up. So let's just end this now, and I want you

guys to promise me you won't let curiosity get the best of you. Because the consequences are

just not worth it." Daisy concluded.

"Do it." Mario smiled, driving down the road.

"MARIO!" Daisy roared from the back seat.

Mario cranked the volume loud again.

_(That, that) Dude, looks like a lady_

_(That, that) Dude, looks like a lady_

Daisy folded her arms and pouted in the back seat. Suddenly, Mario was cut off by someone in a motorcycle.

He was just about to flip them off and yell, but he noticed that it was Samus. Mario could see her face in her

side mirror, and Samus shot Mario a wink. Mario proceeded to stare at her ass.

"MARIO!" Peach roared, her arms folded.

Mario snapped out of it.

"What?" Mario sang.

"I saw that! You make me so jealous!" Peach whined, pouting and facing away.

Mario took one hand off the wheel and proceeded to rub Peach's thigh.

"Babe, when driving you need to examine the vehicle before you. You have to make sure your at the

proper distance, so you don't crash into the other persons ass-I mean bumper if they need to stop for

a turn." Mario explained.

"It's not fair, Mario. How would you feel if I made you jealous?" Peach countered.

"Well I'd feel jealous, I guess... But how on earth are you going to do that?" Mario asked.

Peach thought about it for a moment. She heard Aerosmith on the radio. She smiled.

"How would you feel if I wanted to make love with Steve Tyler from Aerosmith?" Peach smirked.

"Pffft." Mario laughed.

"Please. It's Steve Tyler? Like you'd ever get the chance to make love with him, let alone even

meet-"

"Hey there, Peach!" A voice called.

Mario jerked his head in surprise. An older rock star with sunglasses was driving on a motorbike on

the Wild Wing's right.

"Steve Tyler?" Mario exclaimed.

"That's right, Mario. I'm here to steal Princess Peach from you so I can make love to

her." Steve Tyler informed.

"LIKE FUCK YOU ARE!" Mario roared, revealing a fire flower.

Peach gasped;

"Mario! It's okay, I was only kidding-"

Mario proceeded to fire fire balls at Steve Tyler. Steve Tyler opened his mouth so wide, he managed

to capture the top half of Peach in it.

"Mmm! Mmm! Help!" Peach cried, her voice muffled, feet and legs kicking.

"Luigi! Daisy! Grab her feet and pull her out!" Mario ordered, swerving all over the road.

Luigi and Daisy were leaning over the side of the roofless Wild Wing, trying to pull Peach

from Steve Tyler's mouth. Mario was shifting challenging stares between Steve and road.

Mario managed to throw a fire ball at Steve Tyler's front tire, which caused him to lose

control. Luigi and Daisy finally pulled Peach free, and Mario sped up to avoid the explosion of

Steve Tyler's motorbike as it hit a street light post.

Mario, Luigi, Princess Daisy, and Princess Peach pulled into McDonalds.

Mario smiled as he examined the drive thru.

"Hey, it's pretty emp-"

"OH MY GOD MARIO STOP!" Peach screamed, placing a hand on Mario's chest and the other on

the car door.

"Mamma fucka!" Mario cried in shock.

Mario slammed on the brakes, and everyone jerked forward. Some sweat was present on Mario's forehead

as his heart raced. Luigi and Daisy were glancing over the hood from the back seat.

"You almost hit that poor kitten in the drive thru!" Peach cried, pointing at the animal.

"What the hell is a kitten doing in the drive thru?" Mario whined, honking the horn twice.

Suddenly, the "kitten" turned around.

"I'm no kitten. I'm Fox McCloud!" Fox informed, folding his arms.

Mario, Peach, Daisy, and Luigi stared for a moment. Mario proceeded to speak;

"Well, Fox, I am afraid that this is a drive thru, and you need a-"

"LANDMASTER!" Fox McCloud cried.

Suddenly, a giant tank was present in the drive thru. Luigi, Peach, and Daisy examined it,

dumbstruck. Mario was just simply not impressed.

"Counter it is." Mario grumbled, jerking the gearshift into reverse.

Mario, Peach, Daisy, and Luigi were examining the menu.

"What do you want babe? I'll buy for you." Mario offered.

"Aww, thanks!" Peach smiled, holding his hand and leaning closer.

Peach examined the menu for another second. Finally, she made her decision;

"I'll have a big mac combo. Medium fries, medium coke." Peach decided.

"Wow. You're about as unique as New Super Mario Bros. Wii." Mario joked.

"Hey! I liked that game!" Luigi whined.

"So did I. I just felt it played it safe, you know?" Mario replied.

"Fair enough." Luigi admitted.

"Hurry up and order, lunch is almost over." Daisy strictly ordered.

"Daisy don't fuckin' start with me." Mario warned, with a finger.

"Come at me bro." Daisy ordered, arms spread.

Mario looked like he was going for Daisy, but was stopped by Peach.

"Just order please." Peach sighed.

Mario stood before the cash register, a somewhat familiar actor working.

"Hey there, what can I get for you." Jake Lloyd greeted.

"Jake Lloyd for the Phantom Menace? So this is what you do now?" Mario asked.

"Yeah, Star Wars totally ruined my career." Jake Lloyd complained.

Mario leaned over the counter, placing a hand on Jake's shoulder.

"I think it's you, who ruined Star Wars." Mario smiled.

_Fifteen Minutes Later..._

Peach, Mario, Daisy, and Luigi were sitting in a booth, growing impatient.

"Where the fuck is our food? Leave it to Jake Lloyd to fuck everything up." Mario complained.

"Relax Mario, these poor guys have an entire high school to feed." Peach reasoned.

"Man, it's been fifteen minutes!" Mario whined.

Peach, Daisy, and Luigi said nothing. Mario turned to Luigi;

"Luigi! Dress up as a McDonalds employee or something and go get our food!"

Luigi regained his posture.

"I don't know, Mario. I'm not very convincing in a disguise..." Luigi countered.

**{**Bowletta, Fawful, and Luigi were present on an airship.

"So uh..." Bowletta started.

"Why are your hands over your face?" Bowletta asked.

Luigi was present, except dressed up as Princess Peach. He was covering his mustache

with Peach's white opera gloves.

"Umm..." Luigi started.

Bowletta and Fawful raised an eyebrow.

"I have a cold?" Luigi answered.**}**

Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were driving back to school. Mario approached a red light.

Suddenly, the sound of heavy metal was present.

"Oh fuck it's the fuckin' dicks again." Luigi complained, her voice a little shaky.

"Don't worry Luigi their just a bunch of fuck dummies." Mario comforted.

Mario was looking straight, the Wario Car coming to a stop by his left.

"Mario!" Bowser called.

Mario ignored him.

"Mario!" Bowser called again.

Mario continued to ignore him. Suddenly, Mario could see a large pop coming at him in his peripheral vision.

"Mamma fucka!" Mario cried, he was struck in the head by the soft drink.

Pop exploded everywhere. Peach, Luigi, and Daisy gasped, as laughing was present from the Wario Car.

"Piss off, Bowser!" Mario roared.

The light turned green.

"You piss off!" Bowser countered, as they sped off, leaving Mario and friends coughing up

their dust.

Mario proceeded to drive. Peach was frowning.

"Mario I am so sorry!" Peach whined.

"It's fine, Peach." Mario replied.

"Man I hate Bowser! And his comebacks are more lame then mine when I've had to much to drink!" Mario ranted.

**{**Mario was present inside Princess Peach's Castle, struggling to keep his balance. There were nine

beer bottles surrounding him, and a tenth in his right hand. Daisy approached him, her arms folded,

somber, and very unimpressed.

"Well if it isn't... Princess Daisy, of Sara-Sunday-Land hic!" Mario greeted.

"I think you've had just about enough to drink Mario." Daisy replied, her face strict.

"Well... I think..." Mario started.

"I think your-hic! Your bangs look-like a mustache! A-hic!" Mario joked, pointing at her bangs.

Daisy was not impressed. She turned her head and called;

"PEACH! Come bring Mario home!"

"A-hic! The Pringle chip guy! It's totally his mustache..." Mario continued.

Daisy squinted her eyes at Mario, her arms folded.

Mario stared back, a stupid drunken smile on his face.

"A-hic!" Mario hiccuped.

Daisy gave Mario the right hook to the side of the head. Mario layed down on the

ground. Daisy stared for a moment, her arms still folded. After ten seconds of silence,

Mario mumbled;

"I shit my overalls."**}**

Mario pulled up in the school parking lot in his red Wild Wing.

"Our bags are in the trunk, right?" Peach asked.

"Yeah." Mario answered, popping the trunk.

Mario, Peach, Luigi, and Daisy approached the barely opened trunk, and to their surprise

a royal red haired teenager in blue armor came flying out, gasping for air.

"Eliwood from Fire Emblem?" Luigi barked in surprise.

"*pant* *pant* ...Greetings, friends." Eliwood greeted, catching his breath.

"What the hell were you doing in my trunk?" Mario asked.

"I was waiting... Waiting for the day that people start to actually understand the Fire Emblem series,

and not just know it from the Fire Emblem characters on Smash Brothers." Eliwood explained.

"Oh, right, so you're like Roy and Marth and Ike from Smash Brothers." Daisy noted, nodding.

"Posers..." Eliwood growled.

"POSERS!" Eliwood screamed, facing skyward in an epic fashion.

Princess Peach was walking through the halls of Mushroom Kingdom High, entering her astronomy

class with a nervous expression;

(Oh man, I bet I won't know a single face in here! Who will I sit by?)

"Princess Peach, your late." The teacher informed.

Peach examined the teacher. It was Merlon the shaman. He was reading a crystal ball.

"Heh, sorry Professor Merlon." Peach apologized, adjusting her hair quickly.

Peach hated the feeling of the whole class staring at her. Merlon was gazing in his crystal ball.

"It's alright. You will be sitting by Princess Rosalina over there." Merlon informed, nodding to an

empty desk beside Rosalina.

Peach examined Rosalina with an expression of surprise. Rosalina gave a "hey bitch!" type

cheery smile. Peach sat down beside her old friend, the two of the conversing quietly during class.

**[**_Princess Peach was sitting at a booth inside of McDonalds, Mario and Jake Lloyd arguing_

_at the cash register._

"Much like Toadbert, Princess Rosalina has been going to school with us since elementary school.

We're somewhat close friends, we don't really hang out but she hangs out with Mario and Luigi

pretty often, which I'm totally cool with... Actually, she kinda always hangs out with guys. She's

also one of those people who like NEVER goes to school. Other then that she's pretty cool I guess,

she's really pretty and feminine looking despite her boyish attitude... I'm just happy I have someone

to sit with." Princess Peach explained.**]**

**[**_Mario was leaning against the cash register, Jake Lloyd waiting at the grill for his order._

"Princess Rosalina is fucking awesome in every sense of the word she's lived next door to Luigi

and I are whole lives. She's different from other girls, she fits right in with the guys -she's right

into video games, she loves cool music -she can play the fuck out of a bass guitar, and it's totally

cool if we fart around her -I mean with Peach you gotta hold it in and clench your butt cheeks for

five fuckin' hours straight, depending on the day right... One time we we're cruising around in my

Wild Wing it was a hot summer day and I snuck this silent fart right and she starting to bitch and

complain and then she actually threw up. Like, she fuckin' threw up like c'mon my car doesn't even

have a fuckin' roof on it it couldn't have been that bad... But yeah, anyway Rosalina is fuckin' awesome

that girl is like a sister to me." Mario explained.

"Here you go." Jake Lloyd offered, handing Mario a McDonalds bag.

"Is there McChicken packets in there?" Mario asked.

"Yes." Jake Lloyd answered.

"'Bout fuckin' time Jake it's been like twenty fuckin' minutes." Mario complained.

"Fuck off Mario." Jake Lloyd attacked.

"You fuck off." Mario countered.**]**

**[-PRINCESS ROSALINA-**

_Princess Rosalina was sitting on the drum throne, a cup of Starbucks coffee resting on the floor tom._

_She wore a leather jacket, with a baby blue tee underneath, as well as blue jeans. She didn't have_

_a crown on her head, which featured platinum blonde hair, and a large bang concealing one eye._

"Okay first of all, I hate being called a Princess because I'm not even a normal Princess so it just

kinda sounds like I'm trying to be something I'm not, almost like if someone who uses Ike on Brawl

says that they're a Fire Emblem fan when they've never played the games." Rosalina explained.

_Rosalina takes a sip of coffee, places it back down._

"I've always preferred to hang out with guys over girls, I mean guys are just so chill they just

laugh and play video games and drink beer and jam and stuff but girls are mostly just bitchy,

always gossiping and talking shit about other girls -but don't get me wrong I can be a total

bitch too, and I know how to hang out with girls and I certainly know how to act and dress

like one. I just prefer to hang out with guys, and there's nothing wrong with that." Rosalina continued.

_Rosalina takes a sip of coffee, places it back down._

"And yeah, I'm kinda known for not going to school all that often -I didn't go to school in Grade 8 for

three months straight and I still passed, which is kinda funny. I just consider myself more of an artist

and I know that I won't get anywhere in life if I don't go to school but I'm sure I'll figure something

out... Cool..." Rosalina concluded, nodding.**]**

Mario examined the door before him.

_"Academic Math, Dr. Toadley."_

"Fuck..." Mario muttered.

Mario then proceeded to examine the class through the glass door window. Not very many faces were

familiar, and everyone came off as more on the smart side. Mario looked away shaking his head in anger.

"Why the hell did I let Peach talk me into signing up for this class? I'm going to fit in just about as much as

the Honey Queen fits into Mario Kart 7!" Mario whined.

**{**Mario and the gang were present in front of Princess Peach's Castle, their vehicles parked

not too far away.

"Isn't this great? Another Mario Kart!" Luigi cheered, happy.

"Yeah, it sure is... I wish that new member would hurry up and show up so we can

get started." Peach replied.

"I wonder who it is, anyway?" Daisy asked.

Suddenly, the Honey Queen came into view. Everyone examined her, their eyes widened.

"Hello everyone! Sorry I'm late!" Honey Queen greeted.

There was a silence. Peach took a step forward.

"Hi Honey Queen, umm... My name is Princess Peach, and it's a pleasure to have-"

"Ooo, hang on darling!" Honey Queen interrupted.

Honey Queen turned around so her back was facing Peach. Peach eyes widened.

"I got a terrible itch on my back! Can you get it?" Honey Queen asked.

Peach examined everyone. Everyone backed off a step, there hands in a "no way" formation.

Peach shivered.

"Umm... Okay..." Peach agreed.

Peach proceeded to scratch the Honey Queen's back, her face puckered in disgust.

"Ooo-hoo! That tickles!" Honey Queen giggled, jerking around.

Peach backed off.

"Okay, screw this!" Peach cried, whipping her hands.

Everyone, including the Honey Queen, examined Princess Peach in surprise.

"At first I invited you because I thought it would be a nice change of pace, but-"

"Wa-wa-wait a minute." Mario interrupted, approaching Peach.

Peach, Honey Queen, and everyone else turned to Mario.

"You invited her?" Mario asked, pointing at the Honey Queen.

"Yes, but it was only because I was sick and tired of Waluigi!" Peach admitted,

proceeding to cry into her hands.

Waluigi poked his head from a nearby bush. He jumped out, and proceeded to

stomp his foot.

"I knew it! I knew it I knew it I knew it!" Waluigi whined.

Everyone stared at Waluigi for a moment. Waluigi sighed.

"I'll be going now." Waluigi mumbled, as he proceeded to walk the walk of shame.

The Honey Queen proceeded to cry heavily. Everyone's eyes widened in surprise.

"YOU GUYS ARE SUCH JERKS!" Honey Queen cried.

"Mario, comfort her." Peach ordered.

"But-"

"DO IT." Peach strictly ordered.

"Mamma fucka." Mario whined.

Mario proceeded to pat the crying Honey Queen.

"Hey hey, it's okay. We want you too play." Mario comforted.

"No you don't! Buzz off!" Honey Queen snapped.

Mario's eyes widened. He took a deep breath, and tried again.

"Come on... It's a lot of fuu-uun..." Mario sang.

"Sniffle... No..." Honey Queen replied.

"It's 3-D..." Mario sang.

The Honey Queen stopped crying and examined Mario.

"Sniffle... Okay..."**}**


	4. The First Day, Part 4

**Chapter 4: **_The First Day, Part 4_

Mario walked into the silent classroom. Everyone stared at the famous hero in red. Dr. Toadley was

facing the white board, his hands behind his back. Mario proceeded to walk towards an empty seat.

Before he made it, Dr. Toadley spoke;

"Are you late? You most certainly are..."

Mario turned and faced the teacher;

"Sorry Dr. Toadley, you see Jake Lloyd-"

"Silence! Less talking, more math!" Dr. Toadley interrupted.

Mario's eyes widened. He examined the desks, and saw there was no math being done.

"But what do-"

Dr. Toadley interrupted Mario by revealing a black marker, his back still facing

him. Mario gave a confident smirk.

(Ohh, so he wants me to do a problem on the board, eh? Alright... It's the first class,

it can't be that complex... I'll show these nerds Mario isn't as stupid as he looks!) Mario thought,

walking towards Dr. Toadley with a confident stride.

Mario accepted the marker.

"Okay, so-"

Dr. Toadley turned around and pointed strongly.

**"QUADRATICS!"**

Mario's eyes widened.

"What in the fuck are quadratics?" Mario cried.

Dr. Toadley moved aside, and a problem was revealed;

_8XSquared subtract 5X equals 6._

"The fuck kinda problem is that?" Mario whined.

Dr. Toadley pointed strongly at Mario once again.

**"BEGIN!"**

**[**_Mario was sitting on the bleachers, the gym class running around the track._

"So basically I go in the math class and the math teacher starts shouting at me making me

do these stupid problems and shit, and it's just so unfair now everyone's going to think that

I'm stupid all because I was late for class and had to be the one to answer the problem. And

yeah, I'll admit, I had no idea how to do the problem so I just left the class. Fuck it. And I may

have made myself look like an idiot but that's not my fault it's Jake Lloyd's fault for making me

late in the first place." Mario ranted.

"Hey Mario. Why don't you come down and actually run with the class?" Lucas called, everyone

running past him, the blonde boy jogging in place.

"How 'bout you lick my sack, Lucas." Mario countered, sitting on the bleachers.

"Fuck off Mario." Lucas whined, shaking his head and running again.**]**

Luigi entered his History class. He examined the class. He saw Princess Daisy waving at him,

an empty seat beside her. Luigi's heart proceeded to race.

(Alright Luigi, be cool, be cool... Remember what Mario said...) Luigi thought to himself.

Luigi sat down beside Daisy.

"Hey Luigi!" Daisy smiled.

"H-Hey Daisy." Luigi replied.

"Look at our teacher." Daisy ordered.

Luigi faced the front of the class. Toadsworth was the instructor.

"Toadsworth? Didn't Peach say he was a science teacher?" Luigi asked.

"Yeah, I guess she was wrong..." Daisy replied.

Toadsworth proceeded to teach a lesson. A powerpoint was present. The lights were

off, and the room had the dim glow of an overhead projector. The slide read;

_"The Beginning of the Mushroom Kingdom, 1985"_

"Hello class, my name is Toadsworth, and I will be teaching you history this semester." Toadsworth greeted.

One student yawned. Toadsworth coughed into his fist.

"Right then. Let's get right to it, shall we?" Toadsworth continued.

Toadsworth changed the slide. A super mushroom and a real mushroom was present.

Toadsworth pointed to the Super Mushroom and proceeded to rant;

"Now, you may recognize this as a Super Mushroom, but did you know that back in the

original Super Mario Bros, the Super Mushroom was represented by a real mushroom?

It's quite an interesting fact yes indeed which brings me to my next point-"

Luigi proceeded to yawn. He rested his head lazily on his hand.

(I remember Super Mario Bros... Seems so long ago...) Luigi started.

Luigi yawned a lengthy yawn.

(Man, Mario steals all the fame... When's the last time I had my own game for crying out

loud?) Luigi whined.

Suddenly, a formally dressed man busted into the room and turned on the lights. That got

everyones attention. He pointed at Luigi.

"Congratulations, Luigi! You're getting your own game!" The formally dressed man informed.

Luigi sat up in a perfect posture, smiling ear to ear.

"REALLY?" Luigi cried.

"Yes, sir! Luigi's Mansion 2!" The formally dressed man informed.

"ALRIGHT!" Luigi cheered, jumping extremely high out of his seat.

Toadsworth approached the man.

"E-Excuse, me, but who are you?" Toadsworth asked.

"I am the CEO of Nintendo." The CEO informed.

Luigi turned to Daisy.

"This is so awesome! I haven't had my own game in forever!" Luigi cheered, sounding like a

little kid.

"You think you've had it bad?" A voice asked.

Luigi turned to his right. It was Pit.

"Kid Icarus?" Luigi asked.

"That's right. And I don't want to hear you complaining, because I haven't had

my own game since 1991!" Pit informed, using a lot of hand gestures.

"1991? Geez, that is bad." Luigi admitted.

"Did someone say Kid Icarus?" The CEO asked.

Pit raised his hand. The CEO smiled in delight, and spread his arms.

"Pit, you old son of a bitch! You're getting your own game too!" The CEO informed.

Kid Icarus gained perfect posture, smiling ear to ear.

"REALLY?" Pit asked in excitement.

"You betcha. Kid Icarus: Uprising." The CEO informed, his hands forming the title.

"ALRIGHT!" Pit cheered, hopping onto his desk.

Everyone watched the angel warrior stand atop his desk. He raised his Palutena Bow.

"Great Palutena, Victory is ours!" Pit cheered, as he flew around the classroom,

smashed out the back window, and flew into the distant horizon.

There was a silence. The CEO examined his watch.

"Well, I should get going." The CEO announced.

"WAIT!" Daisy cried, standing half out of her seat.

Everyone examined Daisy. The CEO examined the orange princess.

"Can... can I have my own game?" Daisy begged.

There was a silence. After a good four seconds, Toadsworth, the CEO, and the

whole class except for Luigi laughed at Daisy. Daisy examined everyone, her face

fuming mad.

**[**_Princess Daisy was sitting on a couch inside of Peach's Castle, legs crossed and arms folded,_

_looking pissed._

"I'm sick and tired of everyone saying that I'm never going to get my own game. It's so unfair,

I could totally be in a game and it would be the best game ever! ...And yeah, I've been in over

forty different games so that's not too bad but I'm always stuck on the sidelines, when I'm obviously

such lead role material." Daisy whined.

"Here you go, Daisy." Peach offered, placing a hot beverage before her.

"Thanks." Daisy smiled, accepting it.

"...And some people go as far to say that I am a Peach clone. It's like, um, hello? Do a little bit

of research idiots I'm the Princess of Sarasaland, which is entirely different from the Mushroom

Kingdom obviously. I mean, yeah, okay, so I live in her castle... But that's only because no one

cares about my castle." Daisy explained.**]**

**[**_Mario was sitting on the bleachers, Samus sitting beside him. The rest of the gym class sat_

_on the small field surrounded by the track, Snake talking to them all._

"One thing that people need to understand right off the bat is that Princess Daisy will never

have her own game. I can promise you, that there will NEVER be a Princess Daisy game." Mario explained.

"Mm, although when she was first created she was a damsel in distress, but now she's just in spin off Mario

games like Mario Kart, Mario Party, The Olympic Games and other sports games. She's was meant to serve

as another human female option for players, since Princess Peach was the only one. Princess Peach has such

a higher net value then Princess Daisy, and when that bitch got her own game it didn't do that

great." Samus explained.

"Well I don't know much about the marketing behind it but what I do know is that Peach barely managed to get

her own game so how the fuck does Daisy expect to get one? That's the exact same as Waluigi getting his own

game it's just not gonna fuckin' happen... And I love this because I always get to tease Daisy about not ever

getting her own game and it really gets to her it's fuckin' awesome." Mario laughed.

"Sorry to all you Daisy fans out there, but it's true. You may think Daisy's cool and all, but what would her game

be? Honestly, what would it be? Daisy's... flower yoga? Like, no, fuck that shit." Samus declined.

Suddenly, the bleacher board behind Mario and Samus exploded, Mario and Samus jumping and shouting in fear.

"Oh my god!" Samus cried, startled

"Mamma fucka!" Mario cried, startled.

Solid Snake proceeded to deactivate his camo, the Gym teacher lying prone beside Mario and Samus. The two

of them examined their stealthy gym teacher in fear.

"Get the fuck down there." Snake muttered, his tone deathly.**]**

"WHAT? What's so wrong with a Daisy game?" Daisy roared.

The CEO wiped a tear, the class still laughing.

"Ha, sorry... sorry kid... You're just not lead role material." The CEO laughed.

Daisy slammed a fist on her desk. Luigi jumped in fear.

"I will NOT be stuck as a spin off character forever! Give me a chance! I'll show you a Daisy game can make

sales!" Daisy begged, pounding a fist into her palm.

"Someone tell Peach to shut up." Wario interrupted.

The class continued to laugh.

"Oh, HA HA Wario! That might have been clever if this was Mario Party 3!" Daisy countered, yelling at Wario.

The class was in an uproar.

"Silence!" The CEO roared.

Everyone shut up.

"Daisy has a point. Here at Nintendo, we are all about taking chances." The CEO started.

Hope filled Daisy's eyes.

"So how would you like be in the new smash brothers game for the Wii U?" The CEO offered.

Daisy gained perfect posture, and smiled from ear to ear.

"REALLY? I'D LOVE THAT!" Daisy cheered in delight.

"Way to go Daisy." Luigi congratulated, patting Daisy on the back twice.

"Just kidding. See you in the next Mario Kart." The CEO quickly replied, leaving the classroom.

Everyone but Luigi proceeded to point at Daisy and laugh. Daisy sat back down, clenching her

fists in anger;

(I'll show you... I'll show all of you... Just like I showed the guys from Street Fighter.)

**{**Daisy was present in the streets of Japan, up against Ryu. Many spectators were present.

"FIGHT!" The announcer ordered.

"Hi I'm Daisy!" Daisy greeted.

"Another girl, eh? Away with you!" Ryu roared.

"Bring it on, you... muscular... sexy... hunk of a-"

"HADOUKEN!" Rya interrupted, firing a special attack at Daisy.

"Ah!" Daisy cried, as she fell flat on her back.

"Pathetic." Ryu insulted, folding his arms.

Daisy got to her feet.

"Pathetic? I'll show you..." Daisy started, bring her hands to her right hip.

"Kame..." Daisy started.

"Hame..." Daisy continued.

"HAAAAAAA!" Daisy cried, firing a powerful blast at Ryu.

"K.O!" The announcer informed.

Daisy examined her fingernails. She then glanced at the reader.

"I'm Daisy bitch."**}**

The ringing of the end of the day bell was present. Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach,

and Princess Daisy were present, approaching Mario's red Wild Wing.

"Do you guys ever wonder why Toadbert still goes to high school, even though he has a

PhD?" Mario asked.

"Maybe he's a robot." Luigi hypothesized.

"Maybe... I guess it's just one of those mysterious that will never be solved. Like the incident at

Pinna Park." Mario replied.

Peach grew furious in an instant;

"Mario, don't you dare-"

"Clip please." Mario ordered with douchebag smile.

**{**Mario was present in front of a large, shallow pool of water, examining a destroyed Mecha

Bowser. Baby Bowser was present at the top of it, guarding Princess Peach.

"Leave my mama alone, you bad man! I won't let you take mama Peach away!" Bowser Jr. cried.

"Mama?" Mario pondered.

"Mama?" Peach pondered.

"Peach, what is this idiot talking-"

"I'm your Mama?" Peach asked, interrupting Mario.

Mario's eyes widened.

"Peach, are you retarded? You should know if-"

"Yeah, papa told me all about it." Bowser Jr. informed, interrupting Mario.

Mario shook his head.

"Okay, ew, why the hell did he do that? You look like your about, five. And secondly,

Peach is a virgin, so-"

"So you're Bowser's son?" Peach asked, interrupting Mario.

Mario's jaw hit the floor.

"WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BOWSER?" Mario cried.

Peach and Bowser Jr. faced Mario. Mario pointed at Peach.

"Peach, there are four possibilities here." Mario started.

"One, you are extremely extremely stupid." Mario started.

Peach placed her hands on her hips.

"Two, you have a terrible terrible memory." Mario continued.

Peach and Bowser Jr. proceeded to listen.

"Three, you don't know what a Mama is..." Mario continued.

"Or four..." Mario somberly started.

Peach tilted her head.

"Your a filthy whore who has been sleeping with Bowser behind my back!" Mario cried.**}**

"Whoa whoa whoa, cut the clip there." Peach cried, making a "T" with her gloved hands.

"Hey-hey, keep that shit rollin!" Mario whined.

"No! This is making me look really bad!" Peach whined.

"Let the clip finish before you defend yourself!" Mario countered.

Peach folded her arms in silence, very unimpressed. There was a silence.

"Well resume the damn clip already you idiots!" Mario cried, looking at the Lakitu's filming.

**{**"Hate to break it to you Mario, but it's a combination of number one and four!" Bowser Jr. informed.

Mario's jaw hit the floor. Peach's eyes widened. Bowser Jr. turned to Peach. He whacked her with his

magic paintbrush as he ordered;

"Now get your slut ass in there!"

Princess Peach fell into the Mecha Bowser cockpit. They proceeded to fly away from Pinna Park.

"Mario!" Peach cried.

Mario watched as the Mecha Bowser head flew away.

"It appears to be heading towards Corona Mountain." F.L.U.D.D informed.

Mario turned his head.

"So?" Mario asked.

"Umm... I don't follow?" F.L.U.D.D admitted.

"You honestly think I am going to save her after hearing that? She can burn in hell for

all I care!" Mario roared.

"But Mario-"

"Shut up! I'm going to ride the Yoshi-Go-Round..." Mario whined.**}**

"You done Mario?" Peach asked, her arms folded.

"No. One sec." Mario replied.

**{**Mario was present on the Yoshi-Go-Round, carnival music present. Mario

was cheering happily and laughing as he went in circles.**}**

Peach squinted at Mario, very very mad at him. Daisy and Luigi were watching

the fight, leaning against Mario's car. Mario smiled.

"Now I'm done." Mario informed.

"Good." Peach quickly replied.

Princess Peach faced the reader;

"Listen here, and listen good. I'm about to put an end to this stupid mystery once and for all." Peach started.

**{**A board meeting room was present. Princess Peach was dressed very formally, wearing a suited skirt with

hosiery. Her hair was done up in a fancy bun. She was pointing at a flip chart.

"Alright. Some of you are really big fans of me, and some of you think I am that annoying bitch on Mario Party

that always makes your day horrible. Some of you think that Bowser kidnaps me, and that's how the Koopalings

were born, because we have "sex" while Mario is working his ass off to rescue me." Peach explained.

"And with some of that, I can see where you are coming from. These Koopalings had too come from somewhere,

right? And we've never heard of a Queen Koopa, so... who gave birth to those little bastards?" Peach asked.

"But, anyone who knows everything about anybody knows that if a turtle and a human have sex, the process of meiosis

would be so screwed up beyond scientific explanation, that the chromosomes of the zygote would be in such a complete

disarray that if it even created a fetus, which it wouldn't, it would be much more messed up then those ugly

Koopalings..." Peach explained.

"So okay, science is out of the question, which proves my innocence enough... But so is a

Queen Koopa... So you're still wondering, what gave birth to Bowser's eight children?" Peach asked.

"I'll tell you what gave birth to them... THIS!" Peach informed, flipping the flip chart.

A massive pile of money was present on the flip chart.

"Money, you idiots!" Peach cried, spreading her arms wide.

"Let me explain." Peach started, flipping the flip chart.

A formula of pictures was present.

"You see, the multi-million dollar algorithm works like this..." Peach continued.

"Mario travels through eight worlds to fight Bowser, and ultimately save me. Boom. Multi

Million dollar idea." Peach informed.

"But how do we make that happen? Let's look at the pieces here..." Peach continued,

flipping the paper.

Mario was present.

"Mario. A character loved by many, and known by all. His purpose is to be the protagonist.

We agreeing? Good." Peach explained.

Peach flipped the page. Peach was present.

"But why is Mario doing this? Easiest explanation, a beautiful damsel in distress needs a

hero. There. Now we know why Mario goes through those eight worlds. Still following?

Good." Peach continued.

Peach flipped the page again. Bowser was present.

"Now, no game would be complete without an antagonist. So we have Bowser. But why is

Bowser the antagonist? He needs to have a rivalry with Mario of some kind... What can we

do?" Peach asked, pointing at her chin in thought.

"Of course!" Peach smiled, pointing at the ceiling.

"The damsel in distress! How about Bowser likes Peach? That can also be why he kidnaps her,

which can generate even more games and even more money! Perfect!" Peach explained, answering

herself.

"So let's recap. The protagonist and the antagonist are rivals because they both love the

same girl. The antagonist steals the girl, and the protagonist saves her. There's the reasoning

behind our game. We still following here? Excellent, your doing great." Peach informed.

"Okay, so now we have a game idea. But what about the details? We have eight worlds, so we

need some bosses to fill them." Peach continued.

"Someone may suggest, how about more villans?" Peach asked herself.

"But the smart person at Nintendo answered;"

"Listen, buddy. These bosses have to do with Bowser, they need to hate Mario, and they need

a reason to listen to Bowser." Peach continued.

"Well how are we going to do that?" Peach asked.

"So some bickering went on, and they tried to creating reasoning behind why so many

people could hate Mario and like Bowser. But they made no progress. So they decided;"

"Listen guys, this is a game for kids. All we know about Mario is that he likes Peach and has

a brother, who is player 2. All we know about Bowser is that he is evil and he likes Peach.

So we have no back story to work with. Let's not make this too confusing, and just have

Bowser have some children. That way, they can listen to Bowser automatically, and hate

Mario automatically, no complex back story required at all! Brilliant!" Peach explained, smiling.

"Then one guy noted;"

"But where did the kids come from? We haven't made a Queen Koopa." Peach informed.

"Another guy probably responded;"

"Okay. Let's just make one." Peach continued.

"But then the genius of the group said;"

"But if he has a wife, why would he capture Peach?" Peach answered.

"So then they realized, it's either we add in a Queen Koopa and remove Peach, thus

ruining the whole plot of the multi-million dollar game, or we keep Peach, and don't provide

an explanation on the Koopalings and still make millions of dollars because nobody cares

enough to not buy our games because of it." Princess Peach explained.

"So there you have it. Having Bowser steal Peach and Mario come rescue her is worth

millions of dollars, and if there was a Queen Koopa, that would simply not be a possible

game plot." Peach concluded.

Peach gave a death stare at the reader;

"So for all of you readers out there who think I am a useless dumb bitch who gets herself

kidnapped, think again! I'm the atomic nucleus of the Mario franchise, Mario and Bowser

are merely electrons orbiting around me in the energy shell that is the eight worlds. I make this

shit happen! I am the reason behind all these great games you grew up with, and still love today.

So if I cut you off in Mario Kart, or I steal a star from you in Mario Party, you better just bow down

and realize how grateful you are that Princess Peach is even on your T.V! I am the most popular female

character in video game history! Show me some damn respect!" Peach roared, kicking the flip chart over.

There was a silence. Peach raised an eyebrow at the reader.

"Did I..." Peach started.

"Did I just hear you call me a whore?" Peach asked, stepping closer.

"You still think I am the mother? You still think I am a filthy little cheat who sleeps with Bowser

and breeds Koopalings for Mario too fight?" Peach asked, getting louder.

Flames ignited around Peach's entire frame as she entered a state of pure enragement.

"HOW DARE YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BASTARDS! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF

I JUST, QUIT, HUH? THEN WHAT YOU WOULD YOU DO? NO MORE MARIO GAMES, THAT'S

FOR SURE! I'M THE REASON BEHIND EVERYTHING, AND YOU BETTER DAMN WELL KNOW

IT!" Peach roared, her voice loud as anything.

"Did you just say Super Princess Peach is a shitty game?" Peach asked, fire replacing her eyes.

Peach faced the sky and roared.

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly, Princess Peach exploded into nothing. All that was left was a burning meeting room.**}**

Luigi and Daisy were present, leaning against Mario's red Wild Wing. Luigi turned to Daisy,

calm and collected;

"You know what I haven't had in awhile? Dunka-Roos."


	5. The Plan

**Chapter 5: **_The Plan_

Mario, Luigi, and Toadbert were sitting in fancy chairs inside a very fancy room, Mario and Luigi smoking

very fancy cigars. Toadbert was pacing the room, examining all of the cigars, hands behind his back.

"Wow, Peach has a room dedicated entirely to smoking cigars?" Toadbert asked.

"Well, technically this is for Toadsworth, but we sneak a few of his cigars here and there. But yeah, this castle

has everything. There's a bowling alley on the fifth floor, a Wal-Mart on the sixth floor, and a beach on the

seventh floor." Luigi explained.

"Wow..." Toadbert awed.

"There's probably even an anime room that you can go jerk off in." Mario calmly added, smoking a cigar.

"Very funny. May I have a cigar?" Toadbert requested.

"Fuck no. You're not worthy." Mario declined.

"Not worthy? I require clarification." Toadbert requested.

"Clarify this." Mario countered, giving him the middle finger.

Luigi leaned towards Toadbert a little bit.

"What he means is you're not one of us yet. You gotta... ease, your way in first before asking for a cigar." Luigi explained.

"Ohh... It's okay. Cigar's are bad for the lungs anyway." Toadbert smiled.

**[**_Luigi was standing outside of McDonalds by himself, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a McDouble._

"Well Mario doesn't seem to like Toadbert that much. I mean, he has the right of who he likes and who he doesn't

like, and he is kind of a nerd and Mario's the kind of guy who really cares about his reputation, so I can see why he's

not happy with hanging out with the nerdiest guy in school." Luigi explained.

_Luigi's eyes widened as three people came charging at him._

"Oh fuck..." Luigi whined.

_Wario, Waluigi, and Bowser proceeded to attack Luigi, who was curled up against the wall of McDonalds. His McDouble_

_fell to the ground, and Wario left the roughing and proceeded to pick up the meat that fell on the ground, putting the burger_

_back together and running away with it. Waluigi and Bowser retreated shortly after, Luigi adjusting his cap._

"He stole my burger!" Luigi cried.**]**

**[**_Mario was sitting inside of math class._

"Fuck Toadbert. He's the nerdiest guy in the school, and you can't tell me that when the nerdiest nerd in your school comes

up and starts acting like he's your friend and people start looking at you you don't feel a little fucky on the inside. They just get

so close and they smile at you and people start thinkin' you're one of them and girls don't sit by you in Biology anymore and

you didn't even do anything except be nice! ...Then Peach gets all mad at me when I'm mean to him because she's friggin'

in love with him or something, and now we have to hang out with him. It's fuckin' stupid if you ask me." Mario ranted, shaking

his head.

_Toadbert approached Mario from behind, tapping his shoulder. Mario turned his head._

"Here's last nights homework. All done." Toadbert smiled, offering him the papers.

"Thanks buddy." Mario thanked, accepting the homework.**]**

Mario, Luigi, and Toadbert were sitting inside of the cigar room.

"So, did you guys see Iron Man 3?" Toadbert asked.

"No, was it good?" Luigi asked.

"Yeah, it was awesome!" Toadbert smiled.

"Did it set up a fourth one?" Luigi asked.

"Yeah, but I don't think Robert Downey Jr. is going to play Iron Man." Toadbert answered.

"Uh oh. I guess Iron Man won't be in the Avengers 2." Luigi stated.

"He better be. Otherwise they'll have too walk everywhere." Toadbert countered.

"Haha, yeah that'd be pretty lame." Luigi laughed.

"I haven't seen the Avengers." Mario stated.

"You haven't seen the Avengers?" Toadbert gawked.

"No! I haven't!" Mario loudly countered, making Toadbert feel stupid.

"It's just surprising, the movie was so popular and it's been out for awhile now." Toadbert explained.

"I don't know shit about it. Like, who the fuck is Captain America? What the hell can he do?" Mario asked.

"Well..." Toadbert started.

"He can throw his shield pretty good." Toadbert answered.

"That's it?" Mario laughed, releasing some smoke.

"He's pretty strong, I guess..." Luigi pathetically defended.

"There's gotta be more then just that." Mario begged.

"Well, he can throw his shield like, REALLY good." Toadbert defended.

Everyone proceeded to laugh. Peach and Daisy stepped inside. Daisy looked a little upset.

"Hey boys." Peach greeted.

"Hi Toadbert!" Peach quickly cooed, smiling at him with a finger wave.

"Salutations!" Toadbert greeted.

"Peach, did you not see the sign on the door that said fuck off?" Mario attacked.

"Mario, there's no sign on the door. Plus, the door is wide open. Besides, it's my Castle." Peach countered.

"Hey Daisy, you don't have to feel so bad about sucking, we've discovered a super hero who sucks almost as

much as you!" Mario insulted.

Daisy stormed away with a pout. Peach faced Mario with an angry expression.

"Mario!" Peach attacked.

"What's her problem? Usually she'd come charging at me with a fist all boy like." Mario continued.

"Mario, Daisy was totally embarrassed in history class the other day. Her self esteem has totally plummet, and

you're not helping by comparing her to Captain America." Peach lectured.

"Technically, Mario said Daisy was worse then Captain America." Toadbert clarified.

"Hahaha, that's hilarious." Mario laughed.

"Mario! That's not funny! Daisy's our friend!" Peach scolded.

"Well what the hell do you want me to do about it?" Mario challenged.

"We're throwing a party for her." Peach informed, her arms now folded.

"A party?" Luigi asked.

"Ooh! Let's take her to Chuck E. Cheezies!" Toadbert cheered.

"Toadbert, shut the fuck up. Peach, what are you talking about? Like, a surprise party?" Mario asked.

"No. A high school party. Drugs, alcohol, -the whole works. Right here at the castle. And Mr. Super-Popular Mario here is

going to make sure that everyone knows that this is the coolest party to go too." Peach explained.

"But drugs are bad!" Toadbert cried.

"Wooo, now you're talking baby!" Mario laughed, rubbing his hands together.

"Don't get too excited. You're going to make sure that everyone knows this is Daisy's party. We're using your popularity

to invite people to an awesome party that's going to increase her popularity." Peach explained.

"Aww, man. This is more lame then that week I worked for Phillips CD-I." Mario whined.

**{**Mario and Luigi were walking down a peaceful little road.

"Boy, it sure was nice of the Princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Luigi?" Mario mentioned.

"I hope she made lotsa spaghetti!" Luigi replied.

"Luigi, look!" Mario cried, pointing at a conveniently placed note.

Mario grabbed the note and informed;

"It's from Bowser!"

Mario proceeded to read the note;

"Dear Pesky Plumbers;

The Koopalings and I, have taken over the Mushroom Kingdom! The Princess is now a permanent

guest, at one of my seven Koopa Hotels!"

"Probably the seventh one." Luigi interrupted.

Mario continued to read the note;

"I dare you to find her if you can." Mario concluded.

There was a silence. Mario scratched his head.

"You know Luigi... It's rare for me to say this, but..." Mario started.

Luigi raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just not in the mood this time. Like, this is just plain stupid." Mario barked, whacking the

paper with the back of his hand.

"But Mario! The Princess is in danger!" Luigi whined.

"Yeah, a permanent guest at a hotel. Oh, the horror. Like, this is the worst idea for a

game I have ever heard." Mario countered.

"You're right, bro. From here on out, let's never work for a third party company again."

Luigi decided.

Mario and Luigi proceeded to leave the scene.

"Amen brother." Mario replied.

Princess Peach was present in a hotel bed. Bowser was in the bathroom, preparing a

roofied drink. He entered the bedroom.

"So..." Bowser started.

Peach watched as Bowser crawled into bed. Bowser offered her the drink. Peach accepted.

"You ready for our eighth child?" Bowser asked.

Peach finished a sip.

"Sure. But we're not naming it Bowser Jr." Peach countered.

"You won't remember anyway, you silly girl." Bowser cooed, stroking her chin.

"What?" Peach barked.

"Nothing." Bowser quickly replied.

Peach placed a hand on her forehead.

"I'm starting to feel a little dizzy all of a sudden." Peach informed.**}**

"You're quite the tactician, Peach. Have you ever played Fire Emblem?" Toadbert asked.

"No. But I know Ike, Marth, and Roy from Smash Brothers. They're from Fire Emblem, right?" Peach asked.

Toadbert let out a heavy sigh, resting his head on his hand.

"Go away." Toadbert mumbled.

"I'm going to go talk to Daisy. Make this happen Mario." Peach ordered, leaving the room.

Mario finished the last of his cigar.

"Fuck." Mario cursed, shaking his head.

Princess Daisy was standing outside the Castle's main doors, leaning over the stone bridge and staring at

the moat. The calm water was occasionally disrupted by falling tears.

"Sniffle..." Daisy cried.

The main doors opened, and Peach saw her friend Daisy.

"There you are." Peach acknowledged, approaching her friend.

Daisy proceeded to quickly clean herself up and gain composure. Peach was now beside her, looking at her

from the side.

"Hey, were you crying?" Peach asked.

"No." Daisy answered, wiping her face.

"Daisy..." Peach softly sang.

"Sniffle... I'm such a loser, Peach... Even more so then Birdo at the Beach."

**{**Peach and Daisy were lying on the beach, sunglasses donned and asleep. They

were working on a tan. Mario, Luigi, and Link were just chilling on beach chairs.

Suddenly, Birdo walked in front of them.

"Hello, boys... You want a piece of me?" Birdo asked.

Mario and Luigi removed there sunglasses. Link did not. Peach and Daisy were asleep.

"Oh my god... That's the most disgusting thing I have ever seen!" Luigi cried.

Mario threw up all over Peach and Daisy. They didn't react. Birdo placed her hands

at her hips.

"How rude!" Birdo cried.

"I'm blind... I'm blind!" Mario cried, running aimlessly in circles, continuing to barf.

Luigi joined him. Birdo fired two eggs, hitting Mario and Luigi in the face with both.

Green acid was present, and it proceeded to melt the skin right off.

"Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!" Mario and Luigi cried, falling to the ground.

Birdo examined the scene. Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were present.

(Okay, assholes are dead... Pretty girls are covered in barf... Yay!) Birdo cheered,

skipping away.

Birdo ran into Link. Link was staring at her. Birdo gave a romantic stare;

"You want a piece of me?" Birdo offered.

"Do I just, you know, stick it in there?" Link asked.**}**

"You're not a loser Daisy." Peach comforted.

"Yes I am. I'm so unpopular and it's all because I don't have my own game." Daisy whined.

"Well, I can't do anything about that, but I do have some good news." Peach started.

"What." Daisy unenthusiastically asked.

"Mario's going to gather up the school, and we're throwing a huge party here at the castle! You're totally going to

have the credit though, and it's gonna totally boost your popularity like, sky high!" Peach cheered.

Daisy proceeded to rub her chin softly;

"I don't know, Peach... Sounds like a bad idea... And I know something about bad ideas."

**{**Princess Daisy, and a bunch of formally dressed men were present in a board meeting.

A formally dressed man was pointing at a flip chart.

"Alright. For our new console, we want to lure hard core gamers back, as well as keep our

old ones." The man started.

"Great idea." Daisy added.

"We feel back in our Nintendo and Super Nintendo era, people of all ages enjoyed our games.

But now, 80% of our market is people under fourteen. The Wii is more focused towards kids. We

want to change that with the new console, and please everyone." The man continued.

"Awesome idea." Daisy continued.

"This system will support high definition graphics, so people will consider it as a choice when buying

a first person shooter. But we will always keep in touch with our Nintendo roots. I feel this is a way to

lure 360 and PS3 gamers, and keep our loyal fans." The man continued.

"Oh my god, this system is going to rock! Let's see it!" Daisy continued.

"Before I reveal to you the name, I would like to remind you that we do not want people to

consider this another Wii. This is a whole new revolution of gaming." The man informed.

"Yeah, you wouldn't want people to think it's like the Wii, that wouldn't lure hard core gamers." Daisy noted.

"Alright. You ready?" The man asked.

Everyone nodded. The man flipped the flip chart, and pointed at the name.

"The Wii U!" The man cheered.

Everyone but Daisy clapped in applause. Daisy was very unimpressed. She stood up.

"Excuse me, excuse me." Daisy started, breaking the cheering up.

Everyone stopped at faced Daisy.

"I'm sorry, but didn't you just say you didn't want people to think this was another Wii? Because

you wanted to make an entirely new system, with a fresh start so everyone will want to buy one?"

Daisy asked.

"Well, yes, but it is a new system entirely. The name doesn't matter." The man countered.

"I agree, but people are going to hear the word "Wii" and just think of the old Wii. Why the hell

wouldn't they? This is a terrible idea for a name! Why claim you are going to make a fresh start

then put an old system's name that has a reputation for kids in the title and expect to lure adult

gamers?" Daisy ranted.

There was a silence.

"You know..." The man started.

"You're right." The man agreed.

Daisy smiled.

"Let's change the name." The man suggested.

"Yes!" Daisy cheered.

"Wait a minute..." The man started, examining Daisy.

"Are you... Are you Princess Daisy?" The man asked.

"Yes." Daisy answered.

The man gave a look of disgust.

"What the hell! Why are we listening to you? Get her out of here!" The man barked.**}**

"It'll all work out fine, Daisy. I'll have everything under control." Peach promised.

"You'd really put all this effort just to increase my popularity?" Daisy asked.

"Of course!" Peach smiled.

Daisy smiled. She gave Peach a hug.

"Thanks Peach! You're such an awesome friend!" Daisy smiled.

"You are too." Peach smiled.

Peach pulled away from the hug. Daisy smiled at her.

"Now let's spread the word; Party at Princess Peach's Castle!" Peach cheered.


End file.
